Archive for May, 2011

Memory Day


it is the onset of a very chilly memorial day week end and while I wish the weather were better – I am very glad to have time away from work to make our memories.

Tita is leaving in two weeks. Of course, we are thrilled that she will be able to see her family and reacquaint herself with her country. On the other hand, we will miss her greatly.

it’s been a wonderful few days off and it just feels so good to have down time. I think the best part is that we all still enjoy being together after 3 straight days with one another. It’s truly a blessing.

I think the best memories from this week end are Joe, N and I laughing and cuddling in bed yesterday morning and having dinner with Tita and Alba & my parents & Laura on Friday night. Great memories all around.


May 2. Royal Balance. Not.

This entire winter – post Christmas – was a long one.  We had snow in late April and May has not been, exactly warm.  Work has also been out of control and I have many mixed emotions about that.  I’m not sure how much to share here.  I write this blog for myself but also for Nathanael when he is older (much older – like old enough to get over all bad choices I made when he was young and recognize me as a flawed person who loves beyond measure).  I think it would be helpful for him to know that we’re incredibly purposeful with him.  I’m sure he’ll harbor anger towards us for the thing we unintentionally do, but I want him to know that we tried to think things through.  Needless to say, work has been out of control.  For the most part, I like my work.  I like attacking challenging problems.  There’s lots of things that drive me crazy and I imagine I’ll freelance sooner vs later – but for today, at least, I continue.  But, every single day I struggle with missing him.  I feel are time is limited and it is heart breaking.  On the other hand, I know our bond is strong.  It’s clear Nathanael trusts us and we provide the structure he needs.   He’s also a physical touch kid.  He wants to cuddle, he wants to be held, he needs it.  I am continuously thankful for our foster family who loved him.  I hesitate to think what damage a lesser family or institution would have done to him.  He craves physical touch.  I fear he would not have received that in a lesser environment.

I do feel like we are all in sync.  Nathanael is able to get his body and brain working together.  And, frankly, he’s pretty reasonable.  If we talk about in X time we’ll do Y, he’s pretty good about it.  Of course, when I promised him shoes and Target had none, I had one seriously bumed kid on my hands.  He threw his current shoes out of the cart, turned around and walked away from me with his head down.  I couldn’t blame him honestly.  I promised him new shoes.  He LOVES new shoes.  He’s very particular about his shoes.  There were none.  I think he did pretty good handling the disappointment all in all. 

Easter baskets were a real joy.  He was very excited by it.  He loved the experience.  He felt special.
His letters are seriously great.  I really need to scan some of them in because I can’t really believe how good he is a them.
Playdates are the big thing at montessori, I think I’m letting him down on this one.  Must work on that.

Our house feels good.  Tita continues to be a joy.  We’ve been working hard on getting her into a school next year and hopefully, it will work out.  I love to see those two playing together.  It really make my heart happy.

Spring has changed my outlook.  I feel a bit more energetic.  I feel a bit more like I’m not imploding on myself.  I feel there are possibilties.

Little E

This is an outfit we sent him!


Application to agency: 2/7/07 Dossier to agency: 7/30/07
i171h: 9/6/07
Referral: 9/13/07
POA to Guatemala: 9/28/07
DNA auth: 11/29/07
Enter family court: 12/18/07
DNA test: 1/16/08
Birth mother interview: 1/16/08
DNA test results to embassy: 1/23/08
Registered with the CNA: 2/11 (grandfathered in)
Exit family court: 2/11/08
Pre-approval: 3/6/08
Enter PGN: 3/12/08
Exit PGN: 4/16/08
Adoption decree signed: 4/17/08
New birth certificate: 4/22/08
New passport: 4/25/08
Orange: 5/5/08
2nd DNA Test: 5/8/08
Pink: TBD
Embassy appt: