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The last few years I had such Christmas spirit – it was just magical.  This year I am really having a hard time getting my mojo going.  I think this is impart because it was a time intensive year at work.  We’ve just had to minimize everything to the bare essentials.  Perhaps it’s just backlash from the year.

Perhaps the un-xmas like weather has something to do with it. 

So, as I write this, today is operation holiday spirit (but having a hard time rallying). 

This morning I cuddled with Nathanel for about 10 minutes before we got up and going.  Cuddling with Nathanael is truly precious. I guess if that does make one feel in the holiday spirit, nothing will.

Nathanael also read us 2 books tonight – he’s really getting on a roll with it and his confidence just shown through.  He’s proud and he should be.

I do sometime wonder the effects adoption will have on Nathanael.  He’s always been a bit sensitive to sound/noise/light – and he demonstrated that on Saturday.  He’s done really well in floor hockey and on sat he sort of crumbled.  We missed 2 weeks (thanksgiving and then mom needed a break) – anyway, he just could not do it.  He clung to me and just could not separte.  We encouraged but did turn into assholios.  In the end, we left – it wasn’t worth it.  But, I was sad because he had enjoyed the previous weeks and I hate to see him in such an obvious state of discomfort.  I think he’s doing much better in more stressful environments but we are still in the early stages of him adapting to these situations.  I do think this is a manifestation of our relatively mild adoption issues and if we go slowly, we can work through it.

Building Literacy.

I just received a call voicemail from our son’s Montessori teacher. Nathanel read his first book today. When we joined the school over a year ago she made a point that the first day of reading a book was a big deal and she would reach out to acknowledge his accomplishment.

It’s been so neat to see him start hearing sounds, trying to spell out sounds, linking sounds to letters and now, apparently, to words. It’s a good day.

Next day
I spoke a bit more to his teacher today (who we happen to adore). It really made me want to cry. She said that he did read it with all the usual glitches (reading the right page first etc) but he def read it. She said that afterwards, she stopped the class and made the big announcement and everyone clapped. And the bigger kids came over and congratulated him. He is just so incredibly proud and motivated. I love how she handled all of this.

Reason

Joe has always been a bit better at reasoning with N than I have. I tend to be the quantity time person and Joe tends to be the quality time. So, when N gets stubborn, I get irritated because it’s been about 3 hours of togetherness etc. Anyway, today N had his first day of learn to skate. He’s been pretty excited about this and we’ve talked about it a great deal. He went to floor hockey as usual this morning (with Joe) so I had the learn to skate session. Anyway, he was a bit cranky prior to the lesson but it seemed manageable. So, we got to the rink and found the right place for us etc. They use the sheet of ice pretty efficiently and had a number of levels on the ice at one time. From his eyes, I think he saw just a bunch of kids already able to skate/stand/move on the ice and N had pretty good sense he wasn’t ready for that and really didn’t want to fall down.

From my eyes I just saw a kid that was about to high tail it out of there and verbalizing how much he wasn’t going to do this.

So, as he was fleeing I was able to grab him and sit on the bleechers to watch the classes before us. I figured out what was going on (as he screamed I don’t want to fall) and explained to him that he was in the beginners class, not the other classes. I pointed to the kids on the bench sitting against the boards and that would be him. I also showed him that the teachers were holding each kid and that he would not be skating on his own. I told him that they would bring the bench on over to the entrance and that they would place him on it and then push the bench on over. And it clicked. I am not usually successful at the reason. So, he calmed down in about 10 seconds and we were able to put his skates on. I, of course, forgot his helmet, but it wasn’t a big deal. The teachers brought him over to the bench and on he went. All in all, I though it was a success. He seemed to enjoy the class. Afterwards we watched one of his friends take the class. And then he insisted we watch some mites play hockey. He LOVED that.

thankfulness

I am thankful. It has been a long and challenging fall & summer. As I was walking n out of day care tonight, he started to express his thankfulness. He is thankful for the big and small – his family, mittens, food, pencils etc. As I write this n is cuddled up next to me in bed and said “mommy, I am thankful for you” and then perched his head up even further he said, with a grin “and I am thankful for toys”

I wish that I could bottle these days up because I love them. I need to work on presence because it is experiences of gold.

October 30

It’s been a good month and one that I think we all really needed. Work slowed down a bit and that made it easier to enjoy it all. I feel like we get to experience a precious, rare, and fleeting bubble with Nathanael. He’s a joyful and kind soul and I want to extend this bubble as long as I can. I think I don’t want the world to get to him. Eventually, it will happen but for now, we get to experience this amazing gift.

Today we played his version of our Montessori classroom. It gave me a quite good glance into how things are run in the room and I have to say, I approve. Nathanael played the teacher and it was really fun to act out the experience with him. Nathanael showed me “work” and he clearly has a good model in Miss Sarah. We did circle time, work time, outside time, and show & tell. I think it’s my favorite thing to play since hockey tends to wear me out. It was fun to hear Nathanael’s experience through Nathanael’s voice of Miss Sarah. He clearly finds it to be such a great honor when Miss Sarah shows him work.

We also started his first (semi) organized sport. He’s in floor hockey and I think the concept of organized sports was a bit challenging him to understand. Eventually, he’ll get the hang of it but apparently, he really hated wearing the goggle (which I can’t blame him for).

We start learn to skate in a few weeks. Nathanael thinks he starting actual hockey but I’ve had to explain to him tha the needs to learn to skate first – this is a bit challenging for him to process.

Tomorrow is Halloween and I think it’s way up their on their kids favorite lists. We are so lucky to be living by amazing neighbors and the kids are going to go out together. He loves it and was so hoping to go trick or treating with them.